Liberty and Holiday Travel

Yes, this is a total procrastination strategy that I'm employing while here in the library.

Recently there has been a lot of discussion about what it takes to fly these days. I would like to add to the discussion on our blog that two people read. Haha. Why write about it then? Well, I feel like I have an opinion and I'm not very good at expressing it in the condensed form of a tweet or facebook status. So here goes...

As a student I have a really great job that is super flexible. I get paid to drive teenagers who are currently in treatment at a residential facility to local appointments: dentist, gynecologist, podiatrist, court, etc. I've held hands for cavities, pap smears and hang nails. Part of my job also includes taking our clients to the airport for when they go on home visits. I routinely drive to the airport and go through security at least once a week because my job requires I escort them to the gate. Through this lens of frequent security screenings and gate sittings, (yes, I sometimes wake up with the Big Sister alert ringing in my ears about not watching other people's bags) and while I admittedly never actually get on any flights, I feel I can personally comment here with confidence on TSA procedure and how I feel about it.

Just like discussing with a client where they would like to eat after I take them through security I also discuss with them what kind of screening they would prefer. I think people often forget to consider this before actually being confronted with the consequence of forgetting, like in the case of water still being in your water bottle.

I'll only comment here on my experience with Salt Lake City Airport because that is where almost all of my experience comes from. I'm not going to look up what TSA regulation is for the "average" airport because a)I'm too lazy and 2) my comments may not generalize to the "average" flight experience. (I'll address this last point at the end)

Going through SLCA there are signs. Along with the signs that inform you what you can take with you through security, after showing my boarding pass and ID to a TSA agent, I then have a choice which line to go through and at the beginning of the line with the body scanner there is a sign. It shows a picture of a body scan, instructs you how to stand and informs travelers those reviewing the scans cannot physically see you as you go through. I won't discuss the politics of the use of body scans here and you know, I'm not even going to share my own views about them, but I am more than willing to say that if you know how to buy a plane ticket then you are literate enough to read the signs about your options for security measures in order to travel. Be smart and realize you are fully capable of choosing your own adventure: body scan or metal detector. In my opinion, choosing the line for the body scanner, refusing to then be scanned and then saying, "No. I will not comply with a pat down," is the equivalent of saying, "I was too busy to read the sign." We read signs which regulate and prohibit our travel "rights" all the time... speed limits, traffic lights, "click it or ticket", and maybe you know that is another issue entirely, (big brother laws that cite you for not wearing a seat belt) but the point is there is a sign. Read it. If you are worked up over a fine because you were late for a flight and failed to read the sign, went in the body scanner line and then refused to have a "physical pat-down,"... go commiserate with everyone who gets speeding tickets because they were late to an appointment and were too busy to pay attention to the way they were also traveling. What about my travel rights? Do I have the right to expect you to be a responsible traveler? I guess I'm just saying that if you are going to complain about the rules, be responsible enough to read them before you break them, yeah?

While I'm at it, I'm going to take on Ben Franklin. In contrast to his more stately and wise offerings he once apparently said that those "who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." What a judgmental and irresponsible thing to say! Who are you Ben Franklin to tell me how to define my own view of liberty? Does it have to be the same as yours for me to deserve what you consider to be essential? According to you, my political competence not only suggests whether or not I qualify for civil liberty but also my right to personal safety. Doesn't sound very unalienable to me. Also, BF, because you are so wonderfully quotable, and people listen to you, they like to use this quote as a response to invalidate another person's view by telling them they don't deserve whatever their personal definition of liberty is because it is different than their own. See how that works? Don't worry, I'll smile back at your picture when I see it on a bank note, because a) it means I'm holding a hundred dollar bill and 2) you're American just like me and just as on this here blog you can say whatever you want and so can those other people. Doesn't mean I have to like it. Don't get me wrong, I love being American. I love being able to have whatever idiotic and ignorant opinion I wish to ascribe to. Just don't tell me when and whether or not I deserve the choice to decide what that is. I may (or may not) just go out and vote about it. And really that's what I think it should come down to, right?

Here follows a guide to traveling this season:

1) Take an Airborne and use hand sanitizer

2) Wear slip on shoes/boots

3) Wear socks under these shoes/boots... lots of sweaty feet are going to be walking where you are going to

4) You really don't need everything you packed, but I get it. Americans like to have options and I'm no exception.

5) If you are sick and traveling, that bottle of 3oz+ pepto or cough syrup you forgot you had in your bag does not have to go in the trash. TSA may tell you it does but tell them you are sick and need it. You won't get slapped with an $11,000 fine.

6) Educate yourself BEFORE you go to the airport. You said you did in order to purchase your ticket. (Online at least. When was the last time you used a travel agent?)

Here's the list of approved items:
http://www.tsa.gov/travelers/airtravel/holiday.shtm

Advanced Screening procedure overview:
http://www.tsa.gov/approach/tech/ait/index.shtm

7) If you are in a hurry (or just impatient) LOOK to consider your options and read the signs. Body scan or metal detector? Grandma in a wheel chair with multiple artificial joints or a family of five, (stroller and five dvd players/laptops each for the kids)? You choose your own adventure.

Hopefully you are better at choosing lines than Eric. He has the MOST amazing talent of picking the longest line at the grocery store. Sometimes I have the urge to buy something separate just to race him and win. Haha.

For the record, if you haven't noticed, I'm glad there is someone checking to make sure your aren't wearing a diaper bomb because there really isn't a generalizable flight experience:

http://www.cnn.com/2010/TRAVEL/11/22/airports.holiday.travel/index.html?iref=NS1

Other nuggets for consumption:

http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2010/nov/16/big-sisters-police-state/
http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2010/11/22/snowglobes-pumpkin-pie-tsa-issues-thanksgiving-rules-air-travel/
http://patriotpost.us/opinion/r-emmett-tyrrell/2010/11/18/pat-me-pat-me/
http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2010/nov/22/tsa-chief-worries-over-body-scan-protest/
http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-503544_162-20022876-503544.html
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/40320562/ns/travel-news/

"Don't touch my junk"


How to write to your representative:
http://usgovinfo.about.com/od/uscongress/a/letterscongress.htm

How to find out who your representative is:
https://writerep.house.gov/writerep/welcome.shtml

$3 Lampshade Redo

I've had a few summer projects that I have been trying to finish up while we still have good weather weekends. I found this hideous lampshade at DI. It had a 'beautiful' sequiny headband the entire way around the top. I already had some fabric so I picked up some matching grosgrain ribbon and WALLAH!


It now hangs in our kitchen over our table. I'm going to be uploading a kitchen before and after here before too long. So here's a sneak peek with the finished lampshade. It was super easy. Spray glue is a glorious thing. I cut a little two much off the bottom and had to improvise a bottom ring solution because the original no longer fit but ehh, it came out rather well despite my mistake. Otherwise this whole project would have took only half an hour.


Lampshade: $1
Ribbon: $2
Spray Glue: already owned
Fabric: already owned
Ikea fixture: already owned

August Anteloping

Dear Summer:

You are sneaky. You held such grand promise. Promise of productivity for personal projects. (Holy alliteration.) Promise of gentle warm sun. Promise of plentiful garden harvests. Promise of relaxing vacations.

The girls of 3LW can back me up here: I'm getting a little tired of your broken promises, promises.

I got through not even half of my summer projects. Utah summer sun is SWELTERING. I am sick of looking up recipes for zucchini. Family vacations make me gain weight. Some days you simply left me to a dark cool room, alone, to suck on an otter pop. Your heat drove my dog to sleep on the cool floor of the bathroom, by the toilet, where I would find him looking like an exhausted hungover teenager every morning.

You'd think that after living in Provo for four years I would learn to not be seduced by your awful winter with thoughts of your awful summer. Fall please rescue me. Please stay for more than two weeks this year before there is snow on Timp. Please help me save up my money for the boots that I really want and not spend it on silly things in the meantime. I don't care what Spring says about you, you are my favorite. Winter can have it's "cozy" cheer. Bah-humbug. That's only an euphemism for hermit yourself in your house breathing in cold virus contaminated circulated air. Summer, you make me sweat. I choose when I sweat, not you. Fall. Bring your changing leaves for me to crunch with my flip flops on evening walks when I need a sweater. THAT is cozy. Cozy crunchy. Yeah, bring that. And stay. At least for three weeks this year.

Sincerely,

SP

P.S. I only forgive you on evenings like this:


Or when I'm standing on a mountain and the wind is cooling me off like this:


Or when my eyes go all squinty in your brightness and all I can see is you making my husband look EXTRA special good:

oOOooo, or even both of us at the same time while standing in fabulously warm salty water that's perfect for rock skipping and has an unlimited supply of skippable rocks:


Only then, do I forgive you.

http://picasaweb.google.com/emparks/August2010#

Static cling & name that movie

A humorously unfortunate mad grab from the laundry basket on the way out the door...


see more Poorly Dressed

Son, you got a panty on your head. sound bite  Raising Arizona sound bites

Movie answer: Raising Arizona. (Isssa good one. Go watch it.)

Hail to the Chief

Broccoli from our garden. The community garden. Broccoli from our community garden that is dutifuly watched over by an old Indian Chief, named Lloyd, who sits in his folding chair in the northeast corner of the plot. Without fail he always happens to slip this in to our conversation with a wink and almost toothless grin when I see him:

C: I was telling my friends from the rez about my garden the other day.

S: Oh, yeah, what did you say?

C: I told them some nice white people gave me some of my land back.

Dairy Scientist

Back from vacation conclusions:

1. Ate way too much food

2. Eric: "Wisconsin is like Pennsylvania with larger farms."

3. Visiting family is exhausting

4. University of Wisconsin-Madison has an entire building for Geological Science...

5. Chiggers suck

6. New baby cousins make the world go round

7. Poking around in county courthouses for family records is very educational

8. Listening to my grandpa tell stories about what we found... much more hilarious and informative

9. People should talk to their grandparents more

10. Eric is changing his major to dairy science. Blast you delectable, 140 calories a bite, squeakably fresh cheesecurds!

11. It was really bright this day apparently.

Found...

I was cleaning off my memory card last night and look what I found... our short, short life in Florida together when I would go down to visit Eric. Our last weekend there, when we knew he was moving back to Utah, we figured we might as well squeak in the Everglades. It was a fabulous day. Probably my favorite of all my visits. We found this massive roadside produce stand called, "ROBERT IS HERE." Boiled peanuts, fresh cut pineapple to order, fruit you'd never heard of, avocados the size of my foot, and a fresh honey tasting station with over 20 different flavors. It was the best regional produce stand I have seen outside of PA. Next, we went to the park and were literally less than five feet away from dinosaurs that could have eaten us whole. They were huge!, nuff said.



So, as we are driving away, a few miles down the road there is this crappy sign that says, "Now that you've seen the gators, COME EAT THEM!" I made Eric turn around and this is what we did:


I wish you could have met the guy that made it for us. The place was actually closing, but he said we looked like good touristy people that deserved his special Gator Basket. As he was frying it up he told us how he moved his family out of the Bronx to Florida so his kids would stay out of trouble and get a better education. I wish I had recorded the conversation because it was all in a luscious, thick, NY accent with tales of being shot at, drugs and jailtime, with an endearing Florida ending filled with loud grandkids and a Gator Basket with special sauce.



And yes, it does taste like chicken.

Another Craigslist find...

Speaking of furniture shopping on Craigslist... have any of you viewed something you previously owned that someone else is now selling? How about the couch you and your spouse made... from particle board and the old cushions of a free sofa? This is actually the second time I've seen this. Haha, they dropped the price.

Craigslist & Roller Derby Girl Boyfriend

I was gchatting with my friend Bri the other day about Craigslist. She is currently living with her hubster and new peanut for the summer in Chicago and has a really great summer project: Rental Redesign. (Apartment makeover on a $200 budget) You should take a peak at her blog. It involves a lot of Craigslist perusing, deal finding and well, redesigning. I have also been stalking the local online ads getting ready for our latest move to a pet friendly place only a few blocks away. So, instead of discussing the finer points of Craigslist we found ourselves lamenting the apparent lack of common sense some exhibit whilst posting something on the internet. She had found one that read, "Selling Cheap Stuff... won't last long!" While looking for that really great find there's a lot of weeding out that takes place. Weeding is mostly monotonous but at other times richly rewarding when you encounter an ad like this one: (treat yourself with the time to read it)


If vintage skates are your fancy click here.

Better Marriage Blanket...

Oh, my heaven. Look what I just found. I love how it is marketed to married folk... "You may be stuck with your spouse for life, but you don't have to be to their gas!"

Check out the selling points:

Completely & Quickly Absorbs The Odor Of Flatulence

* A real solution to a very real problem
* Contains the same type of fabric used by the military to protect against chemical weapons
* Even works on top of bed sheets
* Makes a great wedding or anniversary gift too


BWHA! I can just hear the announcer, "Didn't know your were marrying a weapon of mass destruction?" Or can you imagine giving it as a gift? A nice dinner including "Lovey, lets experience the fresh air... we owe it to our marriage of ___ years," glasses tinkling in a toast.

Enjoy the five dollars off coupon!

Taking lunch to work...

Yes, we are living back in Utah. Well, I never left and Eric is back and no, we are not sad we are no longer going to be living in Boynton Beach. More on that later.

Today I am going to share with you a getting ready for the day conversation with EMP.

EMP: What times are you going to be home today in case someone wants the couch?

Me: 11-2 and after 4:30.

EMP: (yelling as he walks to the kitchen and thinking about lunch...) I'm taking the pasties in to work!

I choked on my milk. Anyone who is from Wisconsin/Michigan knows what a pasty is. The wives of Cornish miners would make these hand held meat/potato/carrot pies for lunch. These tasty little morsels are so good William Shakespeare even wrote about them. In short, I'm from WI and was missing me some pasty from the Dodgeville Bakery. So, I made them for dinner last night:



The punchline translated:



Yet another save by Urban Dictionary and smile brought to you by EMP.

Pansy Parks

It was "chilly" in Florida when I went to visit this last weekend. I have to refrain from using the word "cold" because I still live in Utah and this would be blasphemous and strange and well rather pansy of me. Eric says it all the time... he's a true Floridian. Lessons learned from this last trip:
1. Flying Delta out of Ft Lauderdale on a "very high volume" holiday like President's Day means you should get to the airport two and a half hours before your flight leaves... even if all you have to do is get your boarding pass
2. Don't underestimate public transportation... my airport shuttle, Tri-Rail train, and Boca Raton shuttle was only 30 minutes slower than driving in awful I-95 traffic. I'd take an extra thirty minutes reading on a train than having to be on that road from more than an hour during the day. Much less stress and cost less then the gas to drive.
3. Even this time of year condensation forms on the INSIDE of our windows overnight.
4. Watching well seasoned athletes put their dreams and hours of hard work on the line for tenths of a second/point while eating a bag of Utz sour cream and onion potato chips is a fabulous way to wait out late afternoon thunderstorm.
5. Delray Beach has a garlic festival...
6.

Count down to flush...

So... we've been busy. Busy = half moving to Florida. Half = the Eric part. I'm currently attending my last semester at UVU and then I get to go join him in May. The holidays I wish had been a little more relaxing and restful. Haha, on both Christmas Day and our anniversary Eric was sick. I spent most of my time packing boxes, boxes, boxes. We figured it would be easier to sell as much of our belongings as possible ($12 four drawer dresser from yard sale, oil paints, kitchen cart, etc.) rather than moving it across the country. Just the renting of the U-haul truck would have been over $2000 not including the gas. I moved into a house in Orem, to save money, where I have my own room and get to play with two dogs: Orion and Pumpkin. Instead of living in a two bedroom apartment I now get to put the extra cash from rent towards monthly trips to visit husband, which I did this past weekend. After driving across the country Eric began work last week and is officially a Hydrogeologist..."BACK OFF MAN! I'm a scientist." Meanwhile, I'm banging out a heavy credit load and living like a hermit in my little room. It's all worth it though when I get to have Sundays like this last one where I got to go on a walk with husband in Delray Beach... he says hello. (Blogger wasn't uploading my vid, so until I get that figured out here is the youtube version)

Oh, and also when I get to go through Chicago/O'hare to use this toilet: